Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Almost a year.....

Well, I suppose I could wait another couple of weeks to make this entry.... Nah, Im normally a rather impatient girl. It started out as a rather ho hum uneventful year but the last 6 months just kind of turned my world upside down.

It all started in April when my father had some sort of episode that landed him in the hospital. He was admitted with atrial fibrillation and a urinary tract infection. Well, and then, one of the meds they gave him threw him into a psychosis and there was a period of about 48 hours I didn't know what the hell was going to happen, if he was going to live or die or what. But eventually he came out of it and was released at the end of the week. Then onto the rehabilitation center. This was due to the fact my father really hasn't been active since my mother passed 4.5 years ago (he is 80 years old) So a week in a hospital bed really leaves you kind of wobbly. He was at this place about 6 weeks. And during this time everyone is telling me he cant live alone anymore. So I had to suck it up and move in with him. Let me tell you, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life (and it still is) I have no one here for help. No family, no siblings. Im doing this all on my own and every day is a guessing game as far as what do I do financially and getting things prepared for the future and then just the day to day stuff like keeping up the household and cooking and taking care of the dog....

Last week I was on vacation. but by no means was it a vacation. I was supposed to go to California to meet some friends but because I had no one to look in on my father for 5 days I didn't go. There will come a time I am going to snap and I feel as if that time will be somewhere in the near future. Im in the process of applying for medicaid so that I can have him go to an adult day care like 3-4 times a week and get him out of my hair on my day off but we are in that weird bracket where we aren't well off but we aren't quite poor enough to qualify. So we'll see how it goes. And of course Florida is the WORST state as far as benefits go. They are minimal compared to what you would get most anywhere else.

It's quite depressing, it really is.....


At September 28, 2010 at 7:55 AM , Blogger Fijufic said...

A -

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

I am so sorry and I know you are exhausted.

I also know that when you look at yourself in the mirror you will be able to say you have done everything in your power. That is a wonderful thing.

Be strong.

Love you,

At September 28, 2010 at 8:39 AM , Blogger Dorrie said...

Oddly I was just thinking of the other day!

My parents are in a similar state, my mom (91) in rehab, my dad (87) in the hospital. Neither can care for themselves alone anymore. Luckily my younger brother and his wife live in the same house so they are taking care of things... but like you, they need a break! I'm flying over to visit them all tomorrow so see how things are first hand... I'm quite nervous about it all.

Ditto what Bobby said... at least you will never have to feel guilty about NOT having been there to help! {hugs}

At September 28, 2010 at 11:49 AM , Blogger becomingkate said...

I feel for you Andi! I hope you get a chance for some R&R soon. *hugs*

At September 28, 2010 at 12:27 PM , Blogger PaintTheHorse said...

Hi there!

These are hard times especially when caring for a parent. Have you thought about hiring a caregiver on an hourly rate? Senior Helpers does wonderful work. Google their name. You can get a caregiver to look after him for several hours a day so many days a week and give you some respit. Licensed, bonded, good reputation. This sounds like SPAM but it's NOT!!!!

Glad to see your update!

At September 28, 2010 at 1:58 PM , Blogger Doug said...

Being the sole caregiver and breadwinner is not good for you, Andi. You need a break. Does Florida have respite hospitalization, designed to give the caregiver a rest?


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