I thought it was Fall?

Not here it isn't. Still getting into the 90's here (or at least real close to it) When is this heat finally going to break?

Cleansing is good for the soul, right?

Maybe so but it sure as hell makes you damn tired! I am getting my apartment ready for my visitor on Saturday. You all do not understand the ramifications of this and how it has affected me. Let me put it to you this way. I have lived in my apt 10 years. Add to that the minor issue I have with shopping. That kind of equals I have a lot of crap.

I wouldn't say I'm as bad as the fine folk on those tv shows about hoarding and such. Well honestly I do purge every so often but let's just say maybe it's been awhile. So yeah, I've been doing a lot in the past couple of days. And now.... it has caught up with me. It's barely 8pm and I am ready to pass out. The one thing left to do is haul the 12 bags down to the car and drive it to.... Hmmm...where do I drive it to? I'm guessing the Salvation army as it is a 10 minute ride away. Or I could drop it off to my Dad's and call the Vets and they come pick it up. I think I will call them first thing in the morning and see when they are doing a pick up and see if I can schedule one. Which works out perfect because last week, I put the last of my mothers clothes up to do the same thing with. Let me tell you, this year, the Vets have made a fortune off of me. Hopefully I am learning a valuable lesson from all this. Oh yeah, stop shopping so damn much! Really though, I have been good for a very long time. I only broke down once and that was because I got some things to wear on vaca. And well that I had to because since I have lost weight, most of my clothes are too big (and that's mostly what I got rid of) so I kind of HAD to shop.

But anyways.....I'm tired.... that's all for now.

Happy Thanksgiving....

To my Canadian friends of course! We down here in America still have a month and a half til our big turkey day. And well me, my 40th birthday.... UGH! I think the leading up to it will be worse than the actual event. I'm not so worried about turning 40 (it's the new 30, right?) I think it's just a stigma. Besides, I look awesome for my age (knock wood) hahahaha. Not too narcissistic am I? I mean for the most part, I am pretty happy in my life. The only thing I haven't accomplished is that whole life partner thing. It still seems to be eluding me. But maybe finally this year will be my year. I don't know how, but I'm really going to step up my game.

Got suckered into a spinning class this morning. Haven't done one in a couple of months. Didn't have my spinning shoes and it sucked. The pedal dug into the bottom of my foot and right after warming up my knee started to ache. So yeah, I think my spinning days are over. Ugh! My goal this week? To be in the gym all five days. I have been kind of lax the past couple of months. It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard on Mondays and Tuesdays (my days off) to get my butt out of bed at 5:30 am. But I am bound and determined to get back into it.

Well time to get on with my day and work on getting my own cess pit in order for my visitor this weekend.... Yikes, only 5 more days and he'll be here!

Have a good one!


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Sunday football

Well, I tried getting into some games today but I just can't really seem to. The Dolphins don't play til tomorrow night when we meet up with the Jets. I can't wait to see how they do. To me, they looked great last week against Buffalo and if they can keep up that pace, we can definitely get into the playoffs.

I'm also being lazy again. I had started earlier on trying to get things organized around here but got sucked into once again a computer break. I'm trying to get things in order because next week I will be having a visitor from Ohio. Yes, and it's a boy. He will be here from Saturday night to Tuesday afternoon. I met him on this dating site I have been on since March. I was excited for awhile but now feelings of apprehension are setting in. It's almost as if I am personally trying to sabotage this and I don't know why. Well, whatever happens happens....

Crappy love life?

Yeah, that's what I still call it. Nothing really happening (still) Back in March I joined a new online dating site. It was good because the men there weren't the same ones I was seeing from all the other sites I HAD been on. But in the 6 months I've been on there I've met 4 men (one guy I went out with twice) One of them had real potential despite living an hour North of me but it fizzled out when his true colors did (I think I will back away when someone tells me they've been in recovery) Not that I really have anything against anyone in recovery but I think it's a little different when you've done hard drugs as opposed to alcohol. I mean his brain was absolutely fried and he was so off and on I had anxiety attacks from it....

Ok moving on.....so about a month and a half ago I starting talking to this nice man in Ohio. He reminds me a lot of Richard Gere. Things are going quite well and actually will be here in 2 weeks for us to see each other. I am not at all scared or nervous to meet this man or to invite him into my home. What I am scared of is breaking his heart should this not work out. In a way, I feel as if I am psyching myself out for this to fail and I don't know why. Well maybe I do know why a little bit. He lives in Ohio, he has two young daughters. That would be a lot to take on...and it intimidates me. I try to see the positives of moving (if that were to happen) I'd be closer to family and some friends I have up in that direction. But the kid thing....that is really starting to scare me the more I think about it. Sure I like kids....but on a regular basis? And his ex is about 10-15 minutes away. I guess those are the issues one has to deal with when you're in the "older" set. People have already been married once or twice and have had kids....

Oh yeah and Dutch guy... he isn't totally out of the picture either.... More on that later.....

Is it October already?

Geez, weren't we just celebrating Memorial day or something? Well, I just looked and I saw my last entry was in April so maybe that's why I am so far behind. I'm trying to do the KCL thing but I don't know for some reason I am not feeling as if I am fitting in there so well. Here seems more comfortable to me and it feels easier to keep up with everyone as I just scroll down my list and click to read an update. Sigh...I don't know what to do. Sometimes I do miss the regularity of keeping a journal but then sometimes it seems like too much work. I already feel as if I spend too much time online already.....

But anyways.... enough complaining.... I had a pretty good September. Well only because I finally got to go on vacation. I went up to Southern New Jersey to visit family. Also, took some day trips into NYC, Philly, and Atlantic City (where I ended up making a nice donation) :-( But all in all it was a wonderful week. Then I came home, worked for three days then was off again to Indiana. I went for a nice long weekend to meet some friends from a dating site that I'm on that also has forums. There were 15 of us in total and it was an amazing weekend. I have never had so much fun.... On the Sunday I was there, we all drove into Kentucky (not far from Bengal stadium) and went to this cool sports bar to watch football (it was opening day) and again had a great time. Most everyone went home Monday but I stayed till Tuesday and it was really hard to leave. The friendships I formed that weekend are certain to last a lifetime. Someone is already planning a NYE party but I don't think I will be able to attend due to work conflicts. That makes me seriously sad. But we are all getting together for some type of trip in the Spring so I have that to look forward to.

I'll be making another entry soon about my crappy love life (and how soon it might not be so crappy) But I need to get back to work and get some laundry done. Day off? Ha! What day off? Ok gotta go for now.....